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Sacred Initiation

A Story of Adolescent Sexual Awakening:
New Patterns for a Healthier World

Page 2 of 2

© Blake Steele 2008

Continued from Page 1
Juliet sat back against the wall and drew some large, red pillows around her and got comfortable. She slowly opened her long thin legs. She had tiny underpants on. She smiled at Ben. He shifted himself on his pillow and felt very happy and excited inside. She waved her long legs in and out like they were gorgeous, seductive wings then with an easy movement closed her legs and slipped her underwear off. Her yoni was shaved clean and shone with a ruddy pink color. She smiled seductively at Ben, playing with him. He just enjoyed her and start to lose track of himself altogether.

She ran her hands up and down her open thighs and then rested them tenderly like a wreath around her yoni. “This is my yoni,” she said very softly. “That is an Indian name for the vagina, which sounds so clinical. We like to call it the yoni. Do you like that name?”

“Yes. It sounds much nicer,” Ben answered with an enthusiasm in his voice that surprised him.

She ran her hands around her yoni and then back up her thighs. “A woman’s yoni is very tender and sensitive. It is perfectly designed to receive a man’s lingam, which is the Indian name for penis. Better, eh?”

“Yes, that’s a nice name, lingam. I have a lingam.”

“Yes, that is wonderfully true,” she said again with a smile. “Well, when a yoni senses a man’s lingam near and that she can trust him, it wants to open up and take the lingam in, to suck on it tenderly, to eat it.”

“To eat it?”

“I don’t mean it literally silly. But it is like that. The yoni loves to suck on the lingam.”

“You mean like a mouth?”

“Yes. The sensitive muscles in side a woman can caress a man’s lingam, welcoming it, loving it. The yoni, she gets very hot and juicy, longing for the lingam. Isn’t that beautiful?”

“Wow. Yes,” he answered feeling very flushed now, and not just in his face.

“Would you like to experience this?”

“With you?”

“No, that is not allowed here with boys your age. We won’t go that far, not unless your parents give permission. But it is very natural and beautiful. Never, ever feel that sex is wrong. The world has many strange ideas about sex and what is normal, but they are the ones that are wrong. These ideas are shadows of old social and religious fear. Sex is right. Sex is natural and very good. Your body knows that it is good to feel good. It is designed this way. Will you remember these things?”

“Yes, sex is natural and very good.”


“It is good to feel good.”

“We give you permission to feel good, Ben. That is one of our jobs here, to welcome you to a healthy life, a joy filled life. Nice work for us, eh?” She opened her thighs again and ran her hands down them and encircled her yoni, gazing down tenderly at it, as if it were a dear friend. Ben was beginning to feel very warm inside again. She smiled seductively at him again.

“Come here, sit close to me so you can see better.” She patted the mat next to her. Ben scooted over and sat in front of her, very close to her open yoni.

“That’s good. Now the first lesson is how to pleasure yourself. Have you pleasured yourself yet, Ben?”

“What do you mean?”

She smiled at him again, always pleased with the innocence of the young people who came to her for training. “Well, I mean that you purposely create a flow of sexual pleasure in your body. You pleasure yourself.”

“No, I haven’t done it to myself. It just happened to me. That’s all.”

“Do you feel a little embarrassed, Ben?”


“That’s is ok. This is new for you. Don’t worry about it. Now watch.” She ran her hands down her outspread legs again and very gently began to massage the outside of her yoni. “Of course it is different for women and men because we are built the opposite of each other. Yours goes out, mine goes in,” she said with a little laugh. “but the principle is the same. We get sexual energy flowing through our entire body. It is similar to taking a shower. We shower with sexual pleasure inside ourselves. Nice, eh?”

“Yes, it sounds nice. I didn’t think about touching myself. I guess I thought it is just something that happens to you… when you are in danger of falling out of trees.”

Juliet laughed sweetly. “That was the first time. God gave you a free one. Now he expects you to take care of yourself,” she said with a smile and continued to lightly rub her hands around her yoni area. “It is healthy to pleasure yourself as often as you feel a need. For some boys, that may be every day, or even more. It is ok. You just want to keep things in balance, and we will talk about that later.”

“Does that feel really good, like it feels for boys?”

“Oh, yes. Very good, but I haven’t really gotten started yet. I’m just warming up,” she said and laughed again. “Now since this is the first time you have seen a woman like this, let me explain a little more. My yoni has two outer lips. They are soft and sensitive.” She ran her fingers very lightly over them. “When I rub them like this they start to come alive. It is like they are waking up. It is the same for you boys, but your lingams usually are awake all the time. You don’t need to remind them it is time to have pleasure.”

Ben smiled. “And what is inside of you, inside the lips?”

“Ah, that is a wonderful surprise. She gently spread her yoni open and revealed its sweet pinkness. “There are different kinds of yoni. You will realize that if you see many naked women, which I hope you do, for your lingam’s sake.” Ben smiled shyly and she enjoyed playing with his shyness. “The lips of mine are long and straight. Other women have a type of hood that covers even half the entrance to the yoni. Inside is a little lingam.”

“Really? You have a lingam too?”

“It is similar and yet unique. Your lingam acts both as a sexual gland and it releases urine. My urine comes out here,” she pointed to a tiny slit. My little lingam is called a clitoris. It is very sensitive. Even more sensitive than a man’s lingam, so you want to be gentle with it. You will learn to watch a woman when you make love with her, and read her signs whether you are stimulating her too hard or not enough. You will flow with her energy. And, always remember, to ask her how she is feeling and what she would like you to do. That takes away any anxiety you might have if you are doing it “right” or not. There is not a right or wrong way. There are only loving and selfish ways. The loving way is always right. The selfish way is always wrong. That makes it simple.”

Ben nodded his head, as if he understood. It was all so new and he never dreamed he would be sitting so close to a woman and that she would open so intimately to him. He felt really good, like this was amazingly healthy.

“Ben, I am going to allow you to touch me if you like. Would you like to?”


“Do you see the sink over there. Go wash your hands very carefully with the soap and dry them well, ok.”

Ben got up rather self consciously, realizing his lingam was quite stiff. He glanced to see if she noticed. She did and there was laughter in her eyes. He ran over and washed his hands and dried them as instructed, then returned, thinking only of the bulge in his pants.

“Thank you. Of course I noticed your lingam has filled with blood. This is a beautiful thing to me. It is to all healthy women. Don’t be embarrassed about it. It is a compliment. It means your body likes mine. A dog wags its tail when it is happy. Isn’t that so? So your swelling lingam is a sign of your body’s happiness.”

Ben smiled shyly and felt his lingam squeezed between his thighs as he scooted back close to her.

“Now, come closer and give me your hand.” Ben scooted right up next to her and put his hand out. She took it and placed it over her yoni. Now just feel. Don’t move, don’t try to do anything. Just sense what it feels like.” Ben closed his eyes and felt her warm, softness.

“Can you put it into words?”

“I think it is like… an abalone.”

“An abalone? Ha! You are the first person to say my yoni was like an abalone. Aren’t they kind of tough? Am I tough?

“No, very soft. Maybe, you are like a flower.”

“That sounds better. Yes, like a flower, ready to open to the light of a man’s love. Now, gently, let your fingers slip inside me.”

Ben looked at her, a bit anxious, but saw only warm acceptance in her eyes. He took a breath and slid his fingers inside her opening. Her yoni felt warm and a bit slippery.

“How does that feel?”

“Nice, very nice.”

“It feels good to me, too. You have a gentle touch. Thank you, Ben.” As she said that she moved her hips back a little and his fingers slipped out.

“Now we will reverse the table, so to speak, and explore you. Is that all right? Remember, it is always up to you.”

“Yes,” Ben answered, and was aware that he didn’t feel so anxious as before. He was getting a bit used to this openness.

“Lie down here on your back. Ok, that’s good. Now, may I take your pants off of you?” Ben nodded yes and helped her pull his pants down. She pulled them off his legs and laid them aside. His eyes were on her. Her naturalness helped him. “Ah, what a beautiful body you have. Your lingam is magnificent,” she said with a warm smile, looking very lovingly into his eyes. A man’s lingam, like a woman’s yoni, has its own intelligence, its own sensitivities. Just allow your lingam to talk to you, to have its own way. Ok?” Ben nodded yes. “May I touch you?” He nodded yes again. Juliet turned to a small pot of oil, warming over a low flame and poured some into her hands. It fragrance filled the room. She gently poured some on his lingam, put the pot down and placed her hands over him. He felt a surge of pleasure.

“Now, just relax into the pleasure. This is beautiful energy. It is from God. I am going to show you an important truth now. This energy is meant to flow through your entire body, not just be here under my hands. This way it brings health to every cell in your body and it naturally harmonizes with your entire self. You don’t want to isolate sexual energy from your heart or mind or your deepest essence that is pure awareness. Did you know you are awareness?” Ben nodded no. “Yes, we are awareness; we are Life in a body. The secret of Life is to connect all parts of yourself together in loving acceptance. This is the big yes! to life that frees your best energies, that allows you to grow into your higher potentials.” She began softly stroking his lingam and the ecstasy was instantaneous.

“Ok, that’s good. Just enjoy it. If you have an orgasm it is perfectly ok. But lets work with this. Move your attention up to your stomach, here.” She placed her hand gently on his stomach. Now, with your in breath, drawn the pleasure up into your stomach. As you breathe out slowly, just allow it to radiate through your entire body. Ok?” Ben couldn’t talk, or didn’t want to. He nodded yes. She began softly stroking his lingam again. He looked up into her eyes. She recognized his look and her eyes softened into a warm, accepting love. “Now, breathe and draw it up into your stomach.” He did and felt the pleasure expanding. “Now as you breathe out, you can make a sound if you like, whatever feels natural, and just feel the pleasure expand with the oxygen into your whole body, even out to your hands and feet.” He nodded. He was still a bit too self-conscious to groan, though that is what he felt like doing, but he felt the energy flooding his entire torso and out through his arms and legs. She sensed it too.

“Ah, that is so good, Ben. You are a natural at this. Now, very gently, nothing forced, keep drawing the energy up and allowing it to flow into your whole being.” He keep the rhythm going, lifting with the in breath, moving the energy into his whole body with the out breath. She keep softly stroking is lingam, with a variety of touches and movements.

“Ok, now draw it up into your heart, here,” she said as she placed her warm hand over the center of his chest. “And in the same way, allow it to radiate into your entire being as you breathe out.” He nodded yes and found it easy to do. The beautiful energy just flowed where he decided to direct it. It seemed to freely follow his attention.

“Ah, that is so good. Just enjoy it: it is meant to be enjoyed.” She continued to stroke his lingam and he tried to keep lifting and circulating it, but the pleasure quickly grew too great and he started shaking uncontrollably, then couldn’t help himself, but screamed out as he felt his lingam arching up and spouting out warm liquid which fell in heavy drops all over his stomach. Juliet just kept stroking him, cooing softly, “Yes, yes, that is good. This is so beautiful. Just let it flow out.” There were several more spurts. His whole body was tensed, then, suddenly, he relaxed. She kept stoking him and he felt the warm fluid running down his lingam and pooling at its base. He opened his eyes. She was looking down at his lingam, continuing to stroke it. There was white liquid all over her hands as well as him. She looked up at him with a warm smile.

“Wasn’t that beautiful?” Ben nodded yes, and laughed. He felt relieved that she treated it all so naturally. She kept massaging him. It still felt so warm and beautiful. “This is your seed of Life, Ben. It is sacred. See how white and pure it is,” she said and showed him the seed on the back of her hand. Always treat it with great reverence. Did you know there are millions of tiny living cells in it, each one capable of creating a human being? Millions and millions — it is packed full of Life.” She smelled the seed that was on her hand and then put it up close to his nose. “Smell. You see, it even smells like hot bread. It is so beautiful.” He smelled it and remembered the fragrance from his orgasm in the tree. Through her words he experienced it unclouded by the embarrassment he had felt.

“Are you ok?” she asked, looking with great tenderness into his eyes. He smiled and nodded yes and was aware that he felt very loved by her, and in this love he felt strong, clear and whole. “Yes, I feel very, very good. That was just incredible. Thank you so much!”

“Ah, you are so welcome. This is what makes this work so good… and important, just seeing the peace in your eyes and knowing that you can accept this beautiful gift, this natural part of your self with Love. Ah, what a job!” she said and laughed. He started laughing with her, and it felt so good that he started laughing harder and he started to feel a little embarrassed. She sensed, it.

“Just let it spill out, Ben, you are releasing something. Feel the joy. Surrender to it… laugh!” she said and giggled. Ben nodded as best as he could and the laughter kept gurgling through him. He was aware that some old embarrassment was melting away and it felt fantastic.

His laughter grew so strong that Juliet couldn’t hold back. She started laughing too, which only increased his sense of joy. They laughed together for a few minutes, sometimes looking at each other’s eyes, sometimes rolling back and holding their ribs. It was a jubilee of joy.

When the laughter subsided, Juliet put her hands on his head. “Just relax. I’m going to bless you now. Only rest and sense.” He did, feeling so much happiness flowing through him. Her breathing slowed and became rhythmic and he felt his harmonizing with her. A beautiful peace calmed his mind into silence, and he then sensed this peaceful silence expanding from his head out, as if it was a bubble that was enlarging to hold his entire body. She keep it up for a couple of minutes, then slowly removed her hands and looked straight into his eyes. “Just look at me now, gaze into me, if you can.” He felt so open and peaceful inside that he could. They looked into each other’s eyes and he felt like something inside was drinking a milk it had always longed for, as if his deep insides were being nourished. The more he gazed the more beauty he saw in her. Her eyes were softly shining with a clear Light that was so beautiful it utterly enchanted him. It was like he had disappeared and what remained was a noble beauty, something beyond the human life he lived, and it seemed so familiar, like he was waking up from a dream into the real world. He was aware of beauty and Love, a Love so pure it ached.

She was smiling, but in a quiet, controlled way so as not to distract what she or he were seeing. He too smiled, and as his smile grew so did a dim sense of remembrance. He was not this young, struggling boy, not really. It was almost as if he were playing a role, but an important one, and that in truth he was ageless, and wise far beyond all he presently knew.

After a few minutes, she drew close to him and hugged him. He felt the soft beauty of her body, her tender feminine warmth and pressed himself into her, just because it seemed the most natural thing possible to do. They held each other for several minutes, gently swaying to their body’s intuitive response to the beauty of the meeting of the divine male and female in an embrace of Love.

Ben felt as if he had known her forever and loved her more than his own life… and yet, there was no need to attach to her, no desire to posses her. He felt complete, and in this completeness, free.

She gently let him go, and looked into his eyes again. He sensed that she was talking to him, that something deep within himself was communicating with her deepest self in a language beyond the mortal tongue. His mind somehow knew what she was saying. It was an affirmation of all he was intuitively feeling, no matter how silly it seemed. He felt as if he were a prince, as if nobility ran through not only his veins, but every cell of his body and her eyes were saying, ‘yes, I see you, I honor you. What you sense is true, but cannot be said here in this world.’ Some deep part of him knew it was true, far beyond his body’s biology or his young, growing mind.

He nodded at her, letting her know he understood without understanding, and she smiled as if she perfectly understood. She put her hands back on his head, drew him close and kissed him high on his forehead. He felt as if he was being crowned. All he could do was rest in this deep knowing and a growing sense of gratitude which was rising in him. It was for her, for all of her, the human and this beauty that was from beyond this world… but it was for more than her. It was for God. He sensed that he knew God, not as religion, but as a great beauty beyond all he could ever know. The gratitude spilled into his open heart like a waterfall into a pool, and he let it just flow through. At last he had to at least whisper it. “Thank you, thank you,” was all he could say, barely audible. She looked into his eyes and knew it was not aimed at her, and smiled the deepest, most genuine smile of happiness it is possible for a mortal to express.

They hugged each other again and seemed to melt into an eternal stillness in which all things are one. The boundaries of their bodies melted into a Light empty of everything. Ben felt as if this were his real home, as if he could rest here forever. She was feeling the same. After several minutes a small bell rang, telling Juliet it was time for her to prepare for the next person, the next holy being cloaked in forgetfulness and flesh. She gave him a squeeze, as if she wanted her body to pass beyond the integrity of molecules that held them apart, then backed up and nodded to him. He knew and silently put his clothes back on, turned, looked at her with a steady gaze for several seconds, saying thank you in a way words could never express, then walked out the door into a whole new world.

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